Is your glass half full or half empty? It’s a common phrase. What does it mean to you? On one level its just a classic metaphor on another level it kind of infers we having a container within our minds which reflects an optimistic or pessimistic nature. We tend to lean in one direction more than the other. Evidence suggested that people on the optimistic side have a better chance of living healthier happier longer lives. Does that make them more or less resilient?
The power question … What 30, 60 or 90 day challenges are you going to rise to over the year ahead? Challenges that, once achieved through the year, make up that 'what an amazing year its been' feeling come the 31st Dec. How are you going to boost your resilience in a way that helps you rise to and complete those challenges? In a way that optimises your innate resources? and takes you to another level?
In the first days of our lives we are born packed with genes that give us a template from which to develop. All things being equal, we're filled with resources and programming from the people who take care of us; our authority figures, our parents and care givers and teachers etc. We enter into adulthood with varying degrees of competence, confidence, self belief, skills, awareness, knowledge, commitment, positive attitude, trust and in many cases trauma.
Yet as we progress through childhood and adulthood it is inevitable that we will endure some of lifes trauma’s along the way. Dr Bruce Lipton (Cell biologist and author The Biology of Belief) states that we are 95% unconscious beings and 5% conscious. 95% of our behaviour is filtered from an unconscious part of ourselves that started in childhood. Our childhood events before age 6 can have a ‘seemingly' permanent emotional impact on our thoughts and behaviour traits in adulthood. He refers to them as programs.
Thanks to a new and revolutionary therapy called Havening Techniques we now can quicker than ever let-go of these programs. Havening is a biological psychosensory therapy which uses our brains Delta waves to help us recover from . I am a Havening Techniques practitioner and I have used it to help clients heal from their trauma's which so often are left in the unresolved mind. Here are some examples:
A client, as a child, had a traumatic interaction with an adult male stranger which stuck with her into her 30’s. It changed the way she viewed men and yet she ended marrying a man who caused a huge amount of life problems for her and their children. Although divorced, it wasn't until she finally let-go of the associating unresolved emotions linked to that childhood trauma, using Havening, that she could finally give herself permission to empower herself away from the clutches of her ex-partner. She had this to say:
Thank you for empowering me and making me realise my true potential. The best part of working with you was in how you made me aware of how strong I have been all these years and how I had coped, but also to let everything go and live freely again.
The shifts were amazing as now I can’t even recall half of the issues and if some do come up, there is no energy or overwhelming feelings attached to them. The positive impact was when the recurring chest infections and cough and asthma had finally gone, having suffered with them for the past 6 month. I am at a much better place emotionally now.
Another client’s father passed away with whom she had had a positive and challenging relationship. The bereavement hit her hard at a time when she needed to perform at her best for career purposes. She fedback the following:
Before Jan’s Havening session I was in a state of anxiety where my mind was unclear, and I was struggling to make decisions and know why I was making them. Working with Jan over two sessions not only helped me clarify the next steps to take in my career, but also taught me a valuable tool to use at times of stress or overwhelm that I still draw on months later”
Most people learn to adjust after trauma, partly resolving it just enough to get by. However, if there are any unresolved emotions left over from a trauma it can generate 100’s or even 1000’s of unconscious thoughts stemming from emotions like anger, blame, fear or guilt etc. Particularly when under excessive pressure or stress these thoughts can escalate and we can feel overwhelmed, either resulting in our autonomic nervous system kicking in, involuntarily, and before we know it we can be under excessive stress without even knowing why.
When people have low levels of resilience it’s a sign their inner bucket is full and possibly overflowing with energy sinkers. Bouncing from one busy activity to another, watching excessive amounts of screens and social media, numbing stress through excessive alcoholic or substance habits, sedentary lifestyle, spending too much time with energy sapping people, living in a cluttered environment at home and messy desk at work etc.
Letting go of unresolved emotions, clears our head so to speak, helps to create an internal environment that gives us access to our innate resources and even switch on our genetics that bring out our strengths. Dr Lipton talks a lot about epi-genetics. There is now a strong body of evidence that we are not stuck with the genes that have been bestowed upon us by our ancestors. Instead we can change the way our genes express themselves by nurturing a positive internal environment within the body and brain.
With high levels of resilience we are more able to access our amazing innate human resources. We have more clarity, we are more positive, more creative, we have a greater sense of well-being, we are more able to endure higher levels of challenge, we attract people who connect with our vision, we develop an internal capacity to take on more whilst keeping a relaxed focused state of mind. Giving us greater capacity to rise up and take on challenges.
So what do you need to do? Let go/declutter of your unresolved emotions and energy sinkers. Engage in positive energy building activities that develop your capacity, sow in seeds of positive emotions and thoughts and envision a brighter future.
Quick wins:
1. Let go of weeds in your life:
Try out Havening Techniques - facilitated Havening can help to quickly resolve childhood and adulthood trauma’s, clearing your head, to help you get unstuck and get going.
Remove your energy sinkers - see attached PEST analysis
2. Set new goals and 30, 60 90 day challenges that centre around a balance of your human needs to flourish:
live well from body/brain awareness
grow your neural garden with daily positive emotions
use the power of your mind to imagine a better future
ensure positive relationships that support your goals
develop autonomy and control
activate flow in something you love doing
set and achieve accomplishments/goals
engage in challenges that give you a sense of meaning in your life and build towards a legacy
3. Commit to developing an optimal brain/body with:
Daily Meditation, mindfulness or self Havening visualization
Do daily Exercise
Eat well
Daily gratitude Journaling
Try out brain training - this will help you get your mind into a state of homeostasis, the peak state your mind needs to be in to have clarity, creativity, and rise to new challenges this new year!
Jan is a personal performance coach and uses Havening and brain training to help people to address the inner obstacles to achieving their goals so they can move forward and achieve great things in their lives and work. Work with Jan to help shift you into gear and make 2019 your best year! Here is what one client said:
The havening sessions with Jan have helped me to release and shift some blockages within my system that were preventing me from living my life to the full. As I continue the havening work on myself, I continue to heal and am more able to face life’s challenges and live my life with more ease, courage, optimism, joy and freedom!
I feel very grateful and empowered to have been given these skills that I can so easily use to facilitate my own healing journey and personal growth. It seems to be a very efficient method!
The results have been pretty amazing. After a session with Jan there was hugely less emotional ‘negative charge’ around a certain past event, and also around present situations that may usually trigger negative experiences and feelings such as anxiety, fear or anger. In this way I realize that havening is a great tool to help do the essential work of forgiveness of self and others and ‘letting go’, that is necessary for moving forward and creating new and more positive things for ourselves in our lives....Jan created a safe and easy space to do the havening with me. I had just recently reached a bit of a crisis point and could not see how things would turn around, but they are and have and for that I am very very grateful!